Chapter V THE
CHARACTERISTICS AND CRISES OF
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Useful, satisfying role | willingness to adjust and change |
Positive view of life | lifetime habits of moderation |
Assertive attitude | interest in others and the future |
Competent physical and mental functioning | creative and expansive thinking |
Interestingly, one study found that the patient, who survived longer than predicted, was angry about his illness, fearful of death and determined to live instead of being resigned to death (Benoliel 1970). Attitudes about death differ in various cultures. Morality occurs at an earlier age in lower socioeconomic groups and among racial minorities in the United States. Therefore, death may be perceived differently by different groups. In a study comparing Black Americans, Mexican Americans and White Americans, fears of death were related more to age than to racial group. Middle-agers expressed more fear than the elderly, and women were more expressive of their feelings than men. However, they did not think about death as frequently. Whites were less preoccupied with death than the other minorities. Elderly Mexican Americans expressed the least fear of death. Young Mexican Americans expressed the most.
In the United States, death is expected to come to the elderly, to people no longer in the work force. Thus, society overall is not concerned with death unless it occurs to the young or occurs violently. Even if death comes early, little disruption occurs because work is organized so that major institutions are relatively independent of the persons who carry out work roles within them.
Fear of death is apparently more common in the young than in the elderly. However, the elderly express fear of death when a crisis in the social environment is disrupting prior life-style and acceptance. For example, those who are moved to or live in a nursing home are more fearful than the elderly who live in the community and who are not experiencing relocation. The elderly suffering psychiatric illness may also express fear of death. The elderly in a stable situation feel more peace and equanimity about death.
1. MEANING F DEATH
To the elderly, death may have many meanings:
- a friend who brings an end to pain and suffering
- a teacher of transcendental truths uncomprehended during life
- an adventure into the unknown
- reunion with loved ones
- a reward for life well-lived
Death may mean the great destroyer; the cessation of life with eternal nothingness; punishment and separation; or a way to force others to give more affection than they were willing to give in the past. Suicide may be seen as a way to gain control over dying, join loved ones or end an apparently hopeless situation.
The mature person recognizes that dying and death are phases of living and life. The decreased energy level, religious beliefs and loss of most significant people also facilitate a philosophical attitude toward closure. Children and grandchildren also bestow on the older person the remainder of continuity of life and tangible evidence of his or her ongoing contribution to mankind. The person who has left issues unsettled, dreams unfulfilled, hopes shattered or let meaningful things pass him/her by, is sometimes reluctance to die. Knowing of one’s morality allows the person to start preparing early for the last developmental stage—to live life instead of passing through it.
2. PREPARATION FOR DEATH
Most people admit to thinking about death at some time. Usually these thoughts are triggered by external events such as an accident or near-accident, a serious illness or death of someone close. Yet, some older people do not make plans for death, as if planning will hasten death. The elderly are more concerned about the dying process and:
- The pain
- Being a burden
- Loss of bodily and mental functions
- Dependence upon others
- Rejection
- Isolation and separation from loved ones
- Inability to take care of personal business
- Loss of social roles
The more relationships that are important to the senior, the more ties he/she has to undo. This causes grief to be greater. Most do not wish to have life prolonged by machines. However, there are times that such treatment is warranted. Life-support machines give seniors and family extra time to prepare for their death. Some seniors feel the best way to avoid prolonged suffering, dying and preparation for death is to express their desires to family and physician through the Living Will.
Death can be planned in different ways. For example, a prominent Protestant theologian and his wife put their affairs in order, said their farewells. They wrote a note to their children and grandchildren. The note explained the reason for their behavior. They wrote that their health was quickly failing. They required almost constant care. Soon they would be too dependent to live without dignity. They did not want to take up space in a world where there were too many mouths to feed and too little food. They felt it was a misuse of science to keep them technically alive, so they committed suicide.
They thought carefully and believed they had the right to decide when to die, and the decision was not turning against life as the highest value. They clearly were not acting from depression, despair, pain or mental incompetence. They risked condemnation because their religion does not sanction this. However, they felt their action was logical and this will become more acceptable in the future.
Charles Lindbergh also planned his death, but in a different way. When he knew he was terminally ill, he selected his grave site. It was on a tropical island of Maui. He then made all the necessary legal arrangements. Eight days before his death, when the doctors told him he had little time left to live, he flew from New York City to Maui. Then, with his family, physician and two nurses spent the last two days looking at the place he loved and reminiscing. He received the necessary care, but no measures to prolong life. His death was like his life; simple, well-planned, considerate and humble.
Most seniors do not have the means to fulfill their dreams as Lindbergh did. Many are taken to institutions. They endure a variety of tests, drugs and procedures. They have minimal control over their living or dying. Preoccupations with symptoms, pain and the rigors of treatment preclude quiet contemplation, meaningful life review or serene acceptance of death. Medical staff may resist death more vigorously than the patient and often do not credit the senior with enough maturity to understand or accept the finality of his/her condition.
Although a few seniors maintain denial, most desire a plan for their demise. You may be of assistance to them as they validate ideas or need specific tasks to be done. Or you may assist them by letting the doctor know that the senior can accept his/her condition. The doctor can state the diagnosis and prognosis honestly without conferring hopelessness. If the person insists that he/she does not want to be told anything, his/her request should be honored. Often, the person is aware of the truth, but avoids talking about it. Preparation for death is more important for some elderly than for others. Some need to make provisions for their heirs and finalize business and legal affairs.
For many elderly, a spiritual preparation for death is of great importance. Premonition of impending death may give opportunity for long-deferred self-examination and for gaining new meaning in life and death. A reconciliation of conflicts is one’s religious faith can be accomplished. Personal hurts can be amended and tenuous relationships can be strengthened. Each day becomes precious and meaningful.
People die as they live. Those who found meaning in life are unafraid of its end. If success in life has been measured by material standards, death may be approached with bitterness and anguish. Religious faith is not necessarily a factor. Agnostics and atheist may accept death with as much tranquility as a religious believer.
Certain developmental changes occur in the last year prior to death that are unrelated to age and illness and appear to be predictors of death. These characteristics of approaching death which are often monitored by the ill elderly include:
- Poorer performance of various tasks
- Lower energy level
- Slower reaction time
- Decline in cognitive functioning
- Shortened memory
- Decreased planning ability
- Reduced emotional complexity
- Decreased planning ability
- Reduced emotional complexity
- Decreased ability to cope with stress
- A more negative self-image
- Less capacity for learning
- Less assertiveness and flexibility
- Increased introspection
The senior expresses more anxiety, more hopelessness, but fewer expectations about the future. He feels that his/her body is no longer functioning as well as it did, even before overt signs and specific symptoms appear. The person may say, “I feel like I’m slipping and I don’t think I’ll be here next year at this time”. The senior may show increased interest in his social and material environment; it is a disservice to isolate the senior at this time.
3. AWARENESS OF DYING
People today are better educated generally by the mass media about the manifestations of the main killers, cardiovascular disease and cancer, than they were in the past. Further, the legal aspects of informed consent are rigorous. Many procedures cannot be performed without giving the senior an honest explanation. Thus, most people are likely to know intellectually even if they do not emotionally accept their terminal illness. Yet, some doctors and families persist in wanting to keep the diagnosis and prognosis from the patient. They feel that the elderly person will be unable to accept the news.
Different stages that the terminally ill patient may experience include:
CLOSED AWARENESS
Closed awareness exists when the person has not been informed. Also he or she has not discovered the severity of his/her condition. He/she may not be aware because he/she is also not knowledgeable about the signs of terminal illness. Additional, he/she may be in denial and not aware of the severity of the disease. Maintaining a closed awareness is easier in the hospital than at home. The nurse, of course, may be placed in the middle, in such a situation, for it is difficult to communicate openly when a secret must be kept. Family members are robbed of an opportunity to be honest, share their grief with the loved one or plan together for the future. The patient has no opportunity to work through his/her doubts or fears or make plans for his/her loved ones. No one ever learns of the resilience or maturity of the senior, who may be more able to cope than anyone realizes. Keeping the patient uninformed is a travesty of care, in most cases. However silent the patient might be about his/her condition, he/she may have a premonition about his/her status. The senior watches his/her caretakers and family closely for clues about him or herself. He/she may come to the conclusion that he/her is very sick and dying as he/she overhears snatches of conversation or sees teary eyes (Benoliel 1970).
Isolation is experienced when family and friends relate differently to the patient after they learn that he/she is dying from a known terminal illness. They no longer share with the patient. Conversation becomes superficial, stilted and lacks spontaneity as they try to keep the patient from learning his/her diagnosis. Suspicious awareness exists when the person believes he/she is dying but says nothing to confirm his/her idea. Usually his/her deteriorating physical status, others’ silence or their brusque answers to his/her queries, a move close to the nurses’ station, extra attention from relatives rarely seen or shorter and fewer contacts with the health care team, confirm his/her suspicions. The senior knows that he/she is dying but realizes that others around him do not know that he knows.
Mutual pretense occurs when family, patient and staff enter into a game. All realize that the patient knows he/she is dying and continue to pretend otherwise. The patient can plan his/her remaining life, but he/she cannot share this with anyone close. No one can be honest; no one benefits from the patient’s awareness. Even the patient cannot do anticipatory grieving or legal and business planning very well.
OPEN AWARENESS
Open awareness exists when the patient and family are fully aware of the terminal condition and can talk about it, although the nearness of death may not be established. Now the senior can reminisce and conduct life review. He/she can give treasured possessions to the right person. He/she can be in control of his/her situation to a greater degree as he/she finishes important work and makes plans for and says farewells to the family. He/she learns how family members perceive their coming loss; his/her death. He/she can share his/her feelings of loss as he/she anticipates death. The anguish is not reduced, but it can be faced together.
The staff will also be more involved with the senior as he/she talks to them about his/her death. The staff may find it more difficult to care for the person who knows. Staff cannot hide behind clichés. They have to involve something of the self and see him/her as a person, not a thing. The senior or family may request extra privileges, which the rule-bound nurse finds difficult to fulfill. He/she may wish to die at home, and the family and staff may work together to set up care at home and secure the help of a home health agency. The senior who knows, may quietly but firmly, convey that he/she wishes to be granted privacy and dignity, both of which may be difficult to obtain.
4. SEQUENCE OF REACTIONS TO APPROACHING DEATH
Dr. E. Kubler-Ross describes a series of reactions that the person and family go through as death approaches.
These stages are:
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
1. Denial
Denial and isolation are the initial and natural reactions when the senior becomes ill or learns of a terminal diagnosis: “It can’t be true; I don’t believe it”. Denial is more likely in the person who is told too quickly or abruptly by the doctor. Denial may be manifested by minimizing or refusing to acknowledge his/her illness or diagnosis or that the diagnosis may change his/her lifestyle.
The senior may make overly optimistic comments about his/her condition, refuse to follow doctor’s orders, seek other doctors’ opinions, try home remedies or delay hospital admission. He/she may even begin unrealistic plans or projects that will be finished in the far distant future. However, denial does not usually last when pain, fatigue or weakness interfere with activity. As the senior becomes aware of his/her condition, either because of the extent of his/her symptoms or because he/she is repeatedly told by others, he/she may use emotional isolation as a defense. He/she talks about his/her illness and even the possibility of death intellectually, without emotion, as if the topic referred to someone else. Isolation enables the person to carry on practical activities of life that are necessary in order to prepare for hospitalization, prolonged illness or eventual death.
2. Anger
Anger is the second reaction and it occurs with acknowledgement of the reality of the prognosis. As denial and isolation decrease, anger, envy and resentments toward the living are felt. In America, direct expressions of anger are unacceptable. Therefore, angry feelings are likely to be displaced onto the doctor, nurse, family or even the food. Angry demands are a way to avoid neglect and to feel a sense of control over an uncontrollable event. The person feels that he/she does not deserve to be sick, let alone die. He/she can be bitter and hard to manage as he/she thinks, “Why me?”.
3. Bargaining
Bargaining, the third reaction may be difficult to observe unless you care for the elderly person regularly. The person tries to enter some kind of agreement which may postpone death. He/she tries to be on his/her best behavior in order to be granted the special wish of longer life, preferable without pain. Bargaining may be life-promoting. The person is hopeful and he/she expresses faith in God and the future. The body’s physical defenses may be enhanced by mental or emotional processes yet unknown, and a bargaining attitude may account for the not-so-uncommon cases in which the person has a prolonged, unexpected remission from a disease process. The senior who has a negative self-concept or is alone and isolated, lacks a sense of hope and is not likely to bargain. He/she feels that he/she has nothing to bargain for.
During this stage, the senior vacillates between doubt and hope. Sources of doubt include new and unexpected symptoms. Any additional or unexpected stressor related to treatment, financial concerns or the temporary absence of the doctor or primary nurse. When the source of stress is relieved, so is the doubt. Hope arises when the senior hears the medical personnel say “We can help you”. Hope also arises when the senior is encouraged to be actively involved in his/her treatment, by working with doctors and nurses against the disease, by being treated at a leading medical center, and by overtly hopeful attitudes of the staff.
4. Depression
Depression, the fourth reaction to his/her condition, occurs when the person gets weaker, needs more treatment or pain medication and worries about realistic mounting medical costs and even obtaining necessities. Role reversal and related problems add to the depression. The senior feels shame about his/her condition and guilt about being a burden on others. He/she may feel that they are being punished for past misdeeds. He/she may think about past losses and his/her present condition and he/she worries about the future. He/she feels hopeless. He/she fears being alone, losing independence, being disfigured, having pain or losing his/her sanity. The mild depression that is frequently present in the senior is worsened when he/she anticipates death. The senior may lay with his/her face to the wall; answer slowly, if at all; speak with an expressionless voice; talk in short and muddled sentences; or stare out of the window (Rogers 1976). Preparatory depression differs from reactive depression. He/she now grieves for the impending losses he/she will endure. Not only will his/her loved ones lose him/her, but he/she is losing all significant relationships and things. He/she will not be able to do some things that he/she wanted to do.
The person begins to separate him/herself from the world. He/she reviews the meaning of his/her life, tries to share his/her insights with others and gradually withdraws from involvement in life around him/her. If others continue to convey that they expect him/her to want to live, he/she may feel misunderstood and more depression, turmoil and grief. This depression is difficult for family and staff. However, he/she needs to be allowed to emotionally prepare for death.
The quality of life that is being left behind is defined differently by each person, depending upon:
- Present life situation
- Amount of pain
- Family relationships
- Feelings of despair and dependency
- Work abilities
- Amount of body mechanics
- Religious beliefs
- Amount of body mutilation
- Past ability to cope with stresses
- Feelings of loneliness and isolation
- Loss of freedom imposed by medical care system
- Ability to carry on usual routines
- Sense of mastery over oneself and one’s life
.5. Acceptance
Acceptance, the final reaction, comes when the person has time to prepare for death, when he/she is given help in working through previous reactions and when he/she remains alert enough to emotionally resolve his/her death. Now he/she is resigned to his/her fate. He/she is withdrawn, neither angry, depressed, envious nor resentful of the living. The person is emotionally and socially bankrupt. Nothing of obvious importance can be added to his/her life and nothing can be regained. Apathy rather than serenity or acceptance may be seen.
The senior cannot or will not further accommodate to the indignities of his/her diseases. He/she has lived his/her life and does not wish to relieve it. He/she says his/her goodbyes. Only the senior who continues to add to the spiritual dimensions of his/her life will be able to use this time for growth emotionally and spiritually and feel that he/she is adding something to him/herself as he/she is dying. He/she may feel and inner peace and self-possession. He/she lives with the certainty of a limited future. He/she plans his/her inheritance and assigns his/her treasures to others.
Unless he/she is unconscious, the senior who is dying continues to feel, think and respond to the present and limited future, to his/her illness and to those around him/her. He/she does not just lie passively and await death. He/she may strive to control and manipulate others; to prevent their leaving him/her or withdrawing their love. He/she may pretend to avoid feelings of loss and despair.
The person may not proceed to acceptance. He/she may refuse to admit he/she is dying. He/she may show anger, bitterness and self-pity. He/she may retaliate against others, demand, cling or berate him/herself.
The person who is dying often fluctuates between avoidance, denial, anxious hope, rejection, uneasy resignation and calm acceptance. The person tries to maintain ties with those closest to him/her while he/she wrestles with impending extinction.
As a health professional, you must examine personal attitudes and values about life and death. You must be committed to helping the terminally ill person live as comfortably and with as much meaning as possible until he/she dies. Some authors feel that the elderly and the chronically or terminally ill are taking space, food, oxygen and money that could be used for technological advances to help those who are well or at least curable.
It would be easy to assume that we are helping the chronically or terminally ill and the dying person by ending their misery; putting them to sleep; with their consent, of course. Each of us must work vigorously to prevent such an ethic from taking hold.
Do so by clearly knowing inside yourself that every person is valuable, including the dying person. Suffering can be comforted, although a vegetative state need not be artificially prolonged. The patient can refuse treatment. Know clearly that unless you work to humanize care of the chronically or terminally ill person, you can predict what you will receive when you are in the situation yourself.
For selfish reasons, if not for altruistic reason, it is essential to assert your values, knowledge and skills on the side of those most vulnerable and least able to speak for themselves. A look into yourself, and increase awareness about your values, is the first step in the right direction.3
Yet, modern methods of resuscitation that are used when lives can be saved are out of place when disease or accident has nearly ended the senior’s life. This is especially true if resuscitation renews his/her suffering and he/she is prepared for and desirous of death. The dying ought to be allowed to depart in peace, and after death, the body should not be immediately disturbed. Disturbance of the dead body may have no effect on the deceased, but it robs bereaved bystanders of their peace and consolidation.
Opinions expressed in this course are those of the author. It is recognized that there are varying opinions surrounding the topics of treating the terminally ill patient.